The Path...

I have so many things I want to accomplish in the life the Lord has given me but sometimes trying to accomplish all that I want to accomplish leaves me terribly exhausted.

My career, spiritual climb, being a wife, my family issues, being the oldest as well as girl, daughter, sister, mother, and grandmother each has several tasks and duties that I seem to tap into each and every day.  I have often been referred to as an every-ready-battery but in actuality that is what people see, yet what is underneath is a tired woman. 

Looking over my accomplishments, and there are some, there is the thought, "Will there be more?"  My dream to give to the community with my own business seems so far away. Finances are low and I mean extremely low and with no relief in sight.  How do I get to complete my dream if I constantly keep depleting my finances just surviving.  My husband often tells me to keep the faith and stay close to the Lord.  I do have faith but what is uncomfortable is the fact that my dreams may not be the plan the Lord has in store for my life...

I am coasting down a winding road that is navigated by a pilot; GOD.

The Adult-child Caring for an Elderly Parent

Who would have guessed or even planned for this?  As a child we evolve into the adults we are suppose to be, some productive and others not so productive, but in many instances we inherit the responsibility of caring for our parent(s) or an aging family member.

What I have come to realize is that this act does not have a racial preference.  This thing called aging happens in every family of every race.  These are the questions I asked my self as I laid in my bed last night.
 

• What are the characteristics of this role?  
• What adult-child is more responsible to inherit this role opposed to the other siblings in the family? 
• Did the parent or adult family member groom and/or set the foundation while raising the child so he/she can adequately perform this role?  

As I tried to answer these questions I listed in my mind the things I need or would like to do to make my parent(s) more comfortable in their current environment. 

My father passed in 2007 from lung cancer and to this day I still have his phone number in my phone. I asked my self, is this because I am having separation issues or is it that I am in denial. Well, for what ever reason it is obvious I miss him tremendously yet as I approach the anniversary of his death these questions popped in my mind.

My husband and I have aging mothers that we are destined to care for and unfortunately we are not as prepared as we would like to be however we believe that GOD will make a way. The stress that is associated with this role are sometimes unbearable yet we trudge forward and prevail each obstacle one at a time.

My mother while I was younger insisted that I be more responsible.  I believe her constantly repeating responsibility to me is one of the anchors in the foundation she laid in me as a child.  My father instilled in me the value of family and how important it is to be a leader and not a follower.  As a child the cloud of their constant wording enveloped around my sphere but now the replica of who they wanted me to be is who I am; Me.

As I with my loving husband embrace the future of caring for two aging parents I may never be able to answer these questions.  The answer to the questions above will have to be answered as we think of our children we raised and determine who will carry the baton.    
 Violet

The "Mistress" and her Lingering Smell

Let me start this post by stating, I am truly glad to be an inspiring and motivated woman and even more grateful to be this awesome age; 45 years old.

My life consist of busy, busy, and busy as I work towards my late identified career and family.  I also attend an online college as I pursue keeping my brain sharp.

As you can see my day is full from the time I awake until the time I lay my head onto my pillow for rest and sleep.  Rest and sleep are the two most important tasks in my progression through life but here lately, there is one issues that is becoming more prevalent in my life than it was two years ago.  Well for that matter 10 years ago or as far back as I can remember.  The one thing, that is really annoying me is that my body is beginning to change its "smell".  My body has claimed a new scent and I am having a hard time getting use to this invading fragrance.  I am going to refer to the smell as the "Mistress" so not confuse you as I write and express how I feel about her.  I noticed the "Mistress" a few weeks ago in my clothes as I undressed for my bath and to my surprise after my bath the smell dissipated with a little help from Jergens Coco-butter and Johnson's cornstarch.  At first as I undressing I thought that I may have over exerted myself throughout the course of my day but unfortunately that was not the case.  During the day, at lunch time, I use to walk 3 miles, not briskly, for exercise.  The "Mistress" invaded my clothing like a sultry woman lurking in the most intimate parts of your husband or mates disclosed desires.  Unbeknownst to me she was imbedded in the stitches of woven fabric I carried around on my person all day.  I felt dirty and unclean when she revealed herself but I whisked those clothing into the washer machine.  

I am unsure if women who being to age experience this invasion but I sure hope the "Mistress" does not reveal herself as an annoying house guest that will not leave. Maybe I should banish her but first I have to identify where she came from and then what she did with my original scent.  Wish me luck!

Hopefully I won't have to embrace her as she has embraced me.

Violet

Two people look at the same thing; and come up with two different interpretations

Two people look at the same thing; and come up with two different interpretations

Do you wonder about how sometimes we look at the same thing but we see it differently?  Why does each human being see things in their own perspective? How is this possible?  How can we see the same blue sky and see the sky's color differently or see the clouds differently? How can we look at the same person at the same time and see him differently? Is this interpretation determined by our upbringing? Or is it by the present factors or conditions of our current lives?  Is a rose beautiful to you or is it just a flower? Is your favorite pair of shoes shabby-sheik or are they just comfortable. Interpretation is another form of our uniqueness and no other sees what you see just as you see it.

"The day I realized my words WANDER"

I said with the utmost sincerity, "Baby listen to me, I have the answer to your dilemma!  I can help you if you follow this map!"

A moment of silence passed and then came the words that yielded an uppercut to my mid-drift.  "Mom your lecturing me!"

What the hell I thought! That is when I realized that the words I spoke were of no significance, importance, value, or even substance to the listening ear of the younger than 30 population.  My words are germs in an infested void swimming for a place to land.  Gust of air pushing my words around as they float to a place of no value, and then they land.  In the darkest of the receivers existence the word land only to be bounced in an attempt to not receive the germ of, "I told you so."  Antibiotics, cold medicines, avoidance and distance are digested to wash away the germ until the youthful immune system has no other recourse but to embrace the germ.  The germ stays dormant in an incubus state in the belly of the youth until it evolves from the mouth of its host 15 years into the future: wiser, stronger, and aggressive.  The germ then continues the cycle once again wandering in the infested void seeking a new host, you.

The day I realized I missed my son...

May 27, 2011:

The thought penetrated my moment with an aggressive force.  It happened all of a sudden, I realized that my only son has not spoken to me since February 2011.   Darn, can a person be that angry, or just not able to say I miss you.  Can a child remove himself from your world just as quickly as he arrived?

We waist time being angry over things, events, situations and interpretations that are unchangeable.  We lose moments that could be cherished as reminiscent joy.  The remaining person who is apart of this situation will carry all the what ifs to their grave. What a painful thought!  Sorrow, pain, remorse, joy, laughter, are emotions that can stop or continue a life time of memories.  

Son, I'm not mad or annoyed that your decision not to speak to me is still fueled by your judgment of the way I want to live my life.  One day you will be judged and that day before your judgment I pray you will realize your not exempt from being judged yourself. The only difference from your judgment and God's judgment is eternal life with him.  My prayer to God is that you forgive all who you feel have wronged you and forgive yourself for all of those you have wronged; God have mercy.

I will say this to you, I still see the little boy in you still trying to hide your true identity. I will love you today just as I did when I anticipated your arrival into this world.

Violet

Do you have an Opportunist in your company or on your team?

Today 5/26/11:

 

My day began with an hour long prayer asking for mercies from GOD, while covering my new day’s events, travels, and interactions with friends, family and colleagues.

Arriving at work my normal arrival time, 8:00 am, I arrived anticipating a report that was suppose to be created by a Senior Leader of the organization.  Two times this week I visited him in his office; Monday and Wednesday.   In his response to my visits he promised he would have the report prepared and emailed to all the committee members by late Wednesday.  The project’s directive from the assistant director was to hold this project to the highest in priorities of the committee’s members responsibilities, so I thought.  So what the hell is going on when a damn Senior Leader of an organization sets the tone of the project’s continuation by not living up to the deadline he set for himself?  The team was ready to review the document! As I sat there these thoughts ran through my mind:

• Is this organization a JOKE when compared to the private industry?
• Are the values of the organization, set by Senior Leaders, only for the lay employees? 
• Who is held accountable in this situation?
• Who tells the leader he/she is not stepping up to the expectations of the team?
• Do we just whisper amongst ourselves about the inefficiencies within the hierarchy methodology?
• Why am I still here Lord?

  
Yes, in case you were wondering, I do believe that it is important for an individual to feel valued in their organization so they will engage in their work duties more efficiently and enthusiastically.  

Just as a footnote:

• When an individual is devalued by being left out of a team’s acknowledgment it is perceived that they are only valuable when extracting ideas for the betterment of the acknowledged individual or team goal.

Let me elaborate so you can understand what the hell I am talking about.  On this same project there was a report created two weeks ago that was prepared only to look at the demographics of the employee population of this organization.  I initiated the analysis, did all the work, charted the data and presented it to the team.  Again self initiated!  I thought about the internal population we were serving and how the projects overall goal should align.  The report included three types of target populations: 30-40, 40-50, and 50-60 employees.   After I presented the analysis to the group the "Opportunist" decided to ask for my help in stratifying the data of an SWOT analysis.  This darn woman combined my report and her report, which she supported the SWOT findings with my analysis then presented it in a report to the team.  Oh hell, I forgot to mention we both lead the SWOT.  At the very next meeting the team leader referenced to the report she presented with both our names on it as her report.  Wow!  The individual then openly on numerous occasions accepted the full credit for this work.  Now, hold the hell up!   I think I identified an opportunist?  I have never met one in my adult life to date.  For those who don’t know what one, opportunists, looks like just stand and look around.  They may be a director, manager, supervisor, or even a departmental colleague so you must watch out.  They will sting you hard if you’re not careful  and they will do it right in front of everyone.  Unfortunately, what the opportunist does not understand is that stealing ideas only work temporally.  When you’re placed in the position you jockeyed for opportunist, your left to produce immediately.

 

Remember opportunists, the individual(s) you stepped on climbing up is the one who will be needed to sustain your new position!  It all comes full circle, thank GOD. 

So wounded warrior, wait for the next opportunity to counter. 

 

Strategy: 

1. Stayed prayed up!
2. Stay away from the opportunist when team selection is needed. Hell, pick your own partner.  But be ready to pull you weight if your other team members are late majority. More than likely this will be the case. 
3. Stay 5 steps ahead of the opportunist.  Trust me it will save your life.
4. Try not to become emotional during meetings; if your a woman act like the men that are around the table.  Speak with confidence and look the opportunist dead in the eye but remember pursue the table don't make it personal even though it is! 
5. Read everything pertaining to the project and make sure you can articulate your thoughts effectively
6. Try to attend all of the meetings as it relates to the project.
7. Keep the opportunist close but never reveal your strategy to them.